I have neglected my personal blog for quite some time now (maybe 3 months now?). I hope that this won't continue to be the trend. I have been busy (at times) but not nearly as busy as my neglect for my artistic creations would infer. I find myself getting absorbed into the productivity vortexes of FaceBook and YouTube, and distracted by other online presence be it on my facebook pages and my other blog for my podcast. Trying not to spend money lends me to agoraphobia, so I brood for sleepless nights conspiring for other sources of financial security.
Since my migration to Oahu I have landed in a house-share situation with two younger men in the Palolo area of Oahu. I've managed to secure some sort of stable income with my restaurant job at Gordon Biersch, in addition to the sparatic income provided by three other catering companies I work for. Soon I'll be moving into my own place however, and I shall soon feel more comfortable to pursue my artistic endeavors. I find myself rather disappointed in myself in my lack of production since my move, but a lot of my time is spent worried about finances. It's a vicious cycle.
Jamming with Shar Carillo has been more than I could have hoped for. We've already been featured on T.V. and tomorrow we are due to perform in front of a live stream and audience as well. I feel my musicianship has increased quite a bit, especially in a field that I'm not too dominate in otherwise. Been meeting a lot of interesting people, and having a lot fun.
I've also managed to link up with my former guitarist from Leviathan Hawaii, and we're steadily making progress and hopefully as soon as our (his) lives settle down we'll be able to hunt for a drummer and take the Oahu rock scene and give it a run for it's money.
Besides the anxiety of financial despair, there isn't anything else that really crosses my mind. I am stoked, but under a lot of stress. I suspect my car is 2 miles from breaking down and that any given shift at Gordon Biersch could be a final culinary showdown with the world. I still owe money for my taxes, and I'm honestly worried about how I'm going to be able to feed myself at times. I can't afford to rub two $20's together. It's been 5 years since I've had medical and I'm really wishing I had some. I feel my eyes are deteriating. My teeth are in dire need of work. The wounds I've had from past injuries still haven't healed completely. I can only hope that by relocating into my own humble abode that I will be rejuvenated and that the unicorn of a job I hope to poach daily will finally reer it's head. To think, a full time job with flexible hours (day/night shift) that gives you full medical has been an elusive quest. It seems that I've pigeon-holed myself career-wise to a life of waiting tables with barbaric overlords and insatiable patrons.
It'll all be good in the end.